So I haven't posted for a minute because honestly, I really haven't had much time AND things have been going so well. For starters, there's been a few things on my mind, most good and some...annoying I guess you can say. The biggest topic on my head so far is whats been stirring my emotions around the most, but is DEFINITELY not negative.
Becca.
So many things to say but so many little words to describe. This girl makes my heart race every time I get close, or plan on seeing her, or even just getting a txt. Just one txt from her can turn my whole day around. It's so hard for me to stop thinking about her everyday, so hard. That's when anxiety shows it's fucked up little face and tries to bring down positive.
Not this time.
Kramer says go-with-the-flow. Fuck the thoughts and the deep thinking and let the pieces fall where they may. When I think about it, it kinda sounds like something I've told her before, but it's always hard for me to take my own advice. She's right though. I'm excited to see what will happen these next few months.
On a different note, OfficeMax is another major piece of my thought-process right now. The job is fairly easy, the hours are good, and the pay is...well the pay is average. I get along with everyone there for the most part but I don't think I'm very good at the job at all. Interacting with customers FUCKS me up. Playing people and being charismatic is surely not my strong point at all. The most important thing about that job is what I suck at the most, fo real. I guess you can say it's helping me though, Bill has become quite the teacher for me and it's been helping a lot. Maybe if I keep doing this I might actually get good at talking to strangers. A skill like that would open so many doors I can't begin to imagine to think of it all. It sucks being stuck inside all day though and missing out on all of the outdoor activity and spending time with Becca, but it won't stay like tha forever.
I haven't been able to honestly say this in a long time but...
LIFE IS GOOD
There has been one person that REALLY REALLY fuckin bugs me though. That psycho bitch Katt. I don't talk to her anymore EVER, but yet she still sends me at least one mean txt everyday. Every fucking day. She trys her hardest, her fucking HARDEST to make me question myself as a person and make me feel like I'm just this fucked up little bug that no one will ever love or respect.
FUCK THAT
She us to be able to do it but not anymore. I wish someone would just go beat her ass for me. Maybe if I get lucky she'll fuck up and send me a txt saying she wanted to kill me so I could finally get her crazy ass out of my hair. I could see that happening too.
I miss my friends though. I haven't seen them much but that kinda stuff happens when you work a lot. Everything will work out, it always does.
There is so much more I want to type but I'm not going to get dow like that in a public post though. I want you guys to have an idea of whats going on, I don't want to make you read an essay everytime I post. Becca will be over soon too, :). I love it.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
i'm glad things are going good :D you deserve it really!
ReplyDeletei feel you on the anxiety. take it with the attitude that you most likely won't see any of the customers at your work ever again. be completely your self because most of the time, they are nervous to talk to you or ask you for help too. it's a hard hard thing, but working in retail gives so much personal growth it's kinda hard to believe it's all from a job.
and karma will get katt. besides she spells her name dumb anyways.